P U S H through . ... .. whilst carrying. . . whilst in tears. there is Joy on the other side.

Many things

have happened in the last five months

both happy and sad

We sold our Beloved Home of 10 happy years

We were blessed to stay with Beloved family for a short while

We found another beautiful home. .. but it doesn't feel 

like we are Home yet. 

We brought our dear little sons and critters along for a wild ride. . . . 

and we lost our dear sweet wild cat maggs of almost 10 years.. . 

who we guess .. lost a good fight with a fox or coyote 

 ( i guess she wasn't wild after all. . . only in city terms ) 

but we miss her very much. .

and are heart and homesick often still . . 

 while having to keep on working very hard every day and night to take a very olde 

house . . . 1757 . . . 

and with the Lord's blessing

turn it into our Home again.

 Hold on tight little one.

It's a bumpy ride.

 .. but often not without shedding many tears

  New littles were born

to olde littles  

( my baby sis' first )

 My beautiful sweet chickies had to find new everyday

stomping grounds. . . which im still not happy about . .

since i don't get to see them as much. . with more space to roam.

 It is very sad that we often do not know what we have

. . until it's gone.

  a new very olde hearth 

which has seen countless families . . and fires and wood . . and boots

 Get it together girl

Pick yourself up.

Dust yourself off

. . .

and start all OVER.

.. . again.

 My new "warming comforting" drink

half water half milk 

a teaspoon or so of coconut oil ( your skin will thank you )

a teaspoon or so of whatever sweetener you prefer

warm up to very hot

sprinkle muchly with fresh nutmeg and cinnamon and sugar

it rather tastes like eggnog

and is quite cozy

 This is what we left the familiar heartbeat of the city for.

. . wild tall grass.

long walks past not much of anything in particular but all lovely and fresh

fallen leaves that we don't have to ever rake again 

since now we just hop on a tractor and turn them into mulch for the 

most beautiful lime green grass you've ever seen.

So far im finding it overwhelming to 

even try and settle into a place that still needs

more care then we have time or means to give it.. . .but 

with much outside help  ( thank you forever and ever dad )

and my kindest sweetest husbands nightly efforts despite working full time 

and being the best dad in the world whilst doing heavy renovations every tired hour he gets ) 

it is. . . s l o w l y  feeling more familiar and more like a place we belong.

     It is all . . . the moving. .

the losing of a pet you thought would grow very olde before they were suddenly gone.

The quiet sleepy new babies amidst my less sleeping swirling whirling days

The constant, very real acts of love from family and friends that never stops giving

and sacrificing.

is all . . so good 

at reminding me 

that we do not belong here. . . for long.

only for as long as the Lord wills.

and then

when He is ready

we will go home

and we don't have to fix it first

or lose anything in the move

or miss.. . anything.

we will be HOME home.

and that will be ALL.

 im trying to let go.

but it's NOT easy.