Monday, November 25, 2013

P U S H through . ... .. whilst carrying. . . whilst in tears. there is Joy on the other side.

Many things
have happened in the last five months
both happy and sad

We sold our Beloved Home of 10 happy years
We were blessed to stay with Beloved family for a short while
We found another beautiful home. .. but it doesn't feel 
like we are Home yet. 
We brought our dear little sons and critters along for a wild ride. . . . 
and we lost our dear sweet wild cat maggs of almost 10 years.. . 
who we guess .. lost a good fight with a fox or coyote 
 ( i guess she wasn't wild after all. . . only in city terms ) 

but we miss her very much. .
and are heart and homesick often still . . 
 while having to keep on working very hard every day and night to take a very olde 
house . . . 1757 . . . 
and with the Lord's blessing
turn it into our Home again.

 Hold on tight little one.
It's a bumpy ride.

 .. but often not without shedding many tears

  New littles were born
to olde littles  
( my baby sis' first )

 My beautiful sweet chickies had to find new everyday
stomping grounds. . . which im still not happy about . .
since i don't get to see them as much. . with more space to roam.

 It is very sad that we often do not know what we have
. . until it's gone.

  a new very olde hearth 
which has seen countless families . . and fires and wood . . and boots

 Get it together girl

Pick yourself up.
Dust yourself off
. . .
and start all OVER.
.. . again.

 My new "warming comforting" drink
half water half milk 
a teaspoon or so of coconut oil ( your skin will thank you )
a teaspoon or so of whatever sweetener you prefer
warm up to very hot
sprinkle muchly with fresh nutmeg and cinnamon and sugar

it rather tastes like eggnog
and is quite cozy

 This is what we left the familiar heartbeat of the city for.
. . wild tall grass.
long walks past not much of anything in particular but all lovely and fresh
fallen leaves that we don't have to ever rake again 
since now we just hop on a tractor and turn them into mulch for the 
most beautiful lime green grass you've ever seen.

So far im finding it overwhelming to 
even try and settle into a place that still needs
more care then we have time or means to give it.. . .but 
with much outside help  ( thank you forever and ever dad )
and my kindest sweetest husbands nightly efforts despite working full time 
and being the best dad in the world whilst doing heavy renovations every tired hour he gets ) 
it is. . . s l o w l y  feeling more familiar and more like a place we belong.

     It is all . . . the moving. .
the losing of a pet you thought would grow very olde before they were suddenly gone.
The quiet sleepy new babies amidst my less sleeping swirling whirling days
The constant, very real acts of love from family and friends that never stops giving
and sacrificing.

is all . . so good 
at reminding me 

that we do not belong here. . . for long.
only for as long as the Lord wills.

and then
when He is ready
we will go home

and we don't have to fix it first
or lose anything in the move
or miss.. . anything.

we will be HOME home.

and that will be ALL.

 im trying to let go.

but it's NOT easy.


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